Doomed to Fail or Prepared to Prosper

I've been so overwhelmed this week that I haven't had a chance to come over here and spill what I've been dying to talk about since last week Saturday. Never in my history of wedding attending (and trust me I've been to my share of weddings) have I ever attended a wedding like the one I went to this last week Saturday. Have you ever watched those soap operas and movies where the true love of the bride or groom say he/she objects and then they either run off into the sunset or get married themselves right there? Well have you ever watched it "in real life" except the one objecting is actually the groom's mother and the bride and groom were already technically married and they don't show up for the ceremony that they've postponed twice before and the groom's father winds up leaving this ceremony because he's upset that the bride and groom didn't let him in on the pre wedding (only because they know he can't keep a secret and would tell the groom's mother) and instead of you happily celebrating the happy new couple at the reception you're celebrating the life of the bride because the groom couldn't show up because of all the "drama"? Well that's what I got to be present for on Saturday September 19, 2008 and let's just say although expected it was still rather surreal and very Jerry Springer.

I've known the bride all my life as we grew up on the block together. She was a little older than me but we still were always cool with each other. I was very happy to know she was tying the knot (I'm at that age where everyone is doing it) didn't even know I'd been invited but was happy to be apart of the day. My mom had been telling me about some of the problems the groom's mother had been giving but I thought nothing of it. Apparently the groom's mother, although American, feels as though the groom should be marrying a "good Hatian woman" to keep his father's Haitian roots strong. Now the mama groom has tried her hardest to tear them apart however the bride made it clear that mama groom's opinion of her and their nuptials means nothing as the groom was raised by his maternal grandmother and she absolutely adores the bride and the bride's family. So after all the drama that took place it was recomended by the pastor, some family menbers and a few friends of the family (including my mom) that the couple go to the justice of the peace and just have a reception. The groom however really wanted the pastor to marry them so they did a private ceremony instead with close family. I don't know how that ceremony was but the one I went to felt like a movie. So it started with momma bride introducing grandmomma groom and daddy groom to her side of the family (mind you momma groom is sitting in the first row right next to daddy groom when momma bride said she wanted to introduce him). It continued when the pastor came down the aisle and said "I'm here to explain today what's going to happen. There will not be a public ceremony on this day because there was already a private wedding ceremony on yesterday evening". He continued on and explain generally that the couple laid out a whole bunch of fears they were having and he instructed them and guided them to that point. He got a little more into preacher mode and basically ripped into momma groom saying that parents need to know when to let go and let God. At that point, momma groom decides to get up and talk to the minister by saying "I have a question. You saying parents need to let go so I'm supposed to just sit here while my son is making the biggest mistake of his life. This wedding is an abomination. I heard it wasn't nothing but an immigration wedding (mind you both the bride and groom were born and raised in America)". Afterwards there was a bunch of drama. Momma groom got thrown out while the bride's side was chanting "Let Go and Let God". Shortly after the episode we were all told we could go upstairs to the reception (mind you we have yet to see the bride or groom at this point). So we go ahead and have our buffet appetizers and there's speculation going out about what's happening. It came to a point where my mom was told the bride was being monitored by one of the groomsmen - a police officer specifically added as a groomsman as a "just in case". So after the buffet portion was complete the wedding party was announced and just as the rumor mill said the bride was announced by her maiden name and entered the hall ALONE. We were told that the reception was a celebration of the brides life and to have a great time (shhot, by this point everything was paid for so why not). The camera man did the 1989 walk around to each table to have folks wish the couple luck on the wedding video (besides the fact that I hate doing that stuff I thought this was an occasion where the less said the better). We danced and ate and had a great time.

What really sealed my reaction to this whole thing was poppa grooms speech. Simply stated he said manhood is not measured at a time when everything is wonderful but rather the opposite. He passed the mic immediately after and said very little else for the rest of the night.After the ceremony was over people pretty much felt the same as poppa bride. Where was the groom? He claims at first that he wanted to just stay home and avoid the drama but this is HIS family therefore it'll always be HIS drama. It won't end by eliminating yourself from the equation it'll only go where you go. Furthermore similiar to what poppa bride said - marriage vows include for better AND for WORST. Not even 24 hours after you take those vows you break them? Seriously? What kind of a man allows his wife to deal with his dirty laundry alone? Then someone else just summed it all up. Momma groom still won. She never witnessed a ceremony, she still caused a scene and let her objections be known, and the bride was left to look like a fool with no groom on her arm - what a way to remember your wedding day.

Interestingly enough my mom gave me some updates as the week past. Apparently the bride is still living at home with her parents. She's not wearing a wedding ring (its still in the shop) and the reason the groom gave for not showing up was that he was scared that his momma would have him arrested. So of course the question on everyones mind is "why would she do that? What did you do to her?"

Ithink people have concluded that this marriage either didn't happen or has already ended. None the less, most will say from the episode we were witness to this marriage was either doomed to fail or prepared to prosper.